My House is For Sale (Day 3) - Michael McVinney
Contact Michael McVinney, a NY licensed Real Estate Broker. Michael McVinney is also licensed in PA.
Bemus Point NY condos for sale,Ashville NY condos for sale,Lakewood NY condos for sale,Mayville NY condos for sale,Jamestown NY condos for sale,Falconer NY condos for sale,Ellicotville NY condos for sale,Fredonia NY condos for sale,Chautauqua NY condos for sale,Lakefront condos for sale,Bemus Point NY fsbo,Ashville NY fsbo,Lakewood NY fsbo,Mayville NY fsbo,Jamestown NY fsbo,Falconer NY fsbo,Ellicotville NY fsbo,Fredonia NY fsbo,Chautauqua NY fsbo,Lakefront fsbo,Bemus Point NY home for sale,Ashville NY home for sale,Lakewood NY home for sale,Mayville NY home for sale,Jamestown NY home for sale,Falconer NY home for sale,Ellicotville NY home for sale,Fredonia NY home for sale,Chautauqua NY home for sale,Lakefront home for sale,Bemus Point NY real estate license,Ashville NY real estate license,Lakewood NY real estate license,Mayville NY real estate license,Jamestown NY real estate license,Falconer NY real estate license,Ellicotville NY real estate license,Fredonia NY real estate license,Chautauqua NY real estate license,Lakefront real estate license,Bemus Point NY real estate agent,Ashville NY real estate agent,Lakewood NY real estate agent,Mayville NY real estate agent,Jamestown NY real estate agent,Falconer NY real estate agent,Ellicotville NY real estate agent,Fredonia NY real estate agent,Chautauqua NY real estate agent,Lakefront real estate agent,Bemus Point NY realty,Ashville NY realty,Lakewood NY realty,Mayville NY realty,Jamestown NY realty,Falconer NY realty,Ellicotville NY realty,Fredonia NY realty,Chautauqua NY realty,Lakefront realty,Bemus Point NY for sale,Ashville NY for sale,Lakewood NY for sale,Mayville NY for sale,Jamestown NY for sale,Falconer NY for sale,Ellicotville NY for sale,Fredonia NY for sale,Chautauqua NY for sale,Lakefront for sale,Bemus Point NY homes for sale by owner,Ashville NY homes for sale by owner,Lakewood NY homes for sale by owner,Mayville NY homes for sale by owner,Jamestown NY homes for sale by owner,Falconer NY homes for sale by owner,Ellicotville NY homes for sale by owner,Fredonia NY homes for sale by owner,Chautauqua NY homes for sale by owner,Lakefront homes for sale by owner,Bemus Point NY foreclosed homes,Ashville NY foreclosed homes,Lakewood NY foreclosed homes,Mayville NY foreclosed homes,Jamestown NY foreclosed homes,Falconer NY foreclosed homes,Ellicotville NY foreclosed homes,Fredonia NY foreclosed homes,Chautauqua NY foreclosed homes,Lakefront foreclosed homes,Bemus Point NY real estate school,Ashville NY real estate school,Lakewood NY real estate school,Mayville NY real estate school,Jamestown NY real estate school,Falconer NY real estate school,Ellicotville NY real estate school,Fredonia NY real estate school,Chautauqua NY real estate school,Lakefront real estate school,Bemus Point NY mls listing,Ashville NY mls listing,Lakewood NY mls listing,Mayville NY mls listing,Jamestown NY mls listing,Falconer NY mls listing,Ellicotville NY mls listing,Fredonia NY mls listing,Chautauqua NY mls listing,Lakefront mls listing,Bemus Point NY buying a house,Ashville NY buying a house,Lakewood NY buying a house,Mayville NY buying a house,Jamestown NY buying a house,Falconer NY buying a house,Ellicotville NY buying a house,Fredonia NY buying a house,Chautauqua NY buying a house,Lakefront buying a house,Bemus Point NY townhomes for sale,Ashville NY townhomes for sale,Lakewood NY townhomes for sale,Mayville NY townhomes for sale,Jamestown NY townhomes for sale,Falconer NY townhomes for sale,Ellicotville NY townhomes for sale,Fredonia NY townhomes for sale,Chautauqua NY townhomes for sale,Lakefront townhomes for sale,Bemus Point NY homesearch,Ashville NY homesearch,Lakewood NY homesearch,Mayville NY homesearch,Jamestown NY homesearch,Falconer NY homesearch,Ellicotville NY homesearch,Fredonia NY homesearch,Chautauqua NY homesearch,Lakefront homesearch,Bemus Point NY houses for sale by owner,Ashville NY houses for sale by owner,Lakewood NY houses for sale by owner,Mayville NY houses for sale by owner,Jamestown NY houses for sale by owner,Falconer NY houses for sale by owner,Ellicotville NY houses for sale by owner,Fredonia NY houses for sale by owner,Chautauqua NY houses for sale by owner,Lakefront houses for sale by owner, contact Michael McVinney, Real Estate Broker Michael McVinney, NY Real Estate Broker, NY Real Estate Agent, NY Realtor, Michael McVinney
17627
post-template-default,single,single-post,postid-17627,single-format-standard,bridge-core-1.0.6,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,,qode-title-hidden,side_area_uncovered_from_content,qode-child-theme-ver-1.0.0,qode-theme-ver-18.2,qode-theme-bridge,qode_header_in_grid,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-6.0.5,vc_responsive

My House is For Sale (Day 3)

My neighbor caught me vacuuming the sidewalk this morning, which was only slightly more embarrassing than the public fight with my husband about who's job it is to dust the shrubbery.

Our house was on the Broker's Tour yesterday. This is an event during which agents tour your home and leave suggestions on better ways to make it look like nobody lives here. We got positive feedback such as, "Gorgeous! Shows like a model!" and advice like, "Remove knives from kitchen." Because everyone knows that knives are scary and might cause potential buyers to run screaming into the (squeaky clean) bushes.

Our garage apparently "smells like engine exhaust." I'll get right on that after I eliminate all evidence that we have- GASP!- a dog. Ha ha, just kidding! We of course purged the entire premises of anything related to living beings before we listed.

We and our fellow homesellers are the only people in America who never eat, bathe, shit, sit down, sleep in our beds, or use our belongings in any way other than decoratively. We mostly wander dead-eyed through our homes looking for microscopic dust particles upon which to pounce with enthusiastic glee.

I've been second-guessing our listing photos. Sure, they look bright, tasteful, and professionally fake like everyone else's, but perhaps we should have hired attractive models to be featured doing homey things like cooking dinner in the "gourmet kitchen" or doing yoga in the "flex space." Maybe a sexy chick lounging on the patio while a shirtless male stripper grills hamburgers nearby would appeal to potential buyers.

I have learned that the word "room" is completely out of vogue. Now we have "spaces," and all of these "spaces" are "open" and "airy." We have "spacious spaces" that are "flooded with natural light."

I just now caught sight of what might be a smudge on one of the "high-end stainless appliances." FML.

submitted by /u/SuzQP
[link] [comments]



test